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The Funniest Drunk Texts That People Have Ever Sent

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Text Comments (134)
Alice Willoughby (14 days ago)
1:06 - I love this one! (I still don't know how "white girl wasted" is different from any other kind of wasted, though.) 1:19 - As a devoted Potterhead, I love this one too! :-) 2:25 - Can't decide if this one is funny or tragic. Respect to the Chinese guy for taking this drunk stranger home and cluing his friend in that there could be a real problem here. 5:25 - Is a drunk joke an alco-lol? 6:29 - I hope they at least took all the cut-up pineapples back to whatever party he'd gotten so drunk at and shared them around.
Janet Miller (1 month ago)
Funny at first. Then I remembered my ex, who drowned because he was drunk. Died at 40, which is OLD to some of you.
Kira Smith (2 months ago)
angie Tripptree (3 months ago)
I kept having to hit pause to read the texts
Emma Sroka (4 months ago)
Lol 0:40 nice ploice man lol
Linda Duncan (4 months ago)
Laughed at every single one!! 😂😂😂
nihl hinz (4 months ago)
If someone refers to themselves in the 3rd person, Be Afraid, very afraid.
Most of your "funny" videos were more cute than funny. This, my friends, was FUNNY. I was laughing hard most of the time!
Jake Hayes (5 months ago)
...i got some funny ones, some bad ones.... at my worst, i told somebody i was busy being drunk... go (insert stuff here) and i would come find her when i was done.... my DD punched me to rival Mike Tyson, Heavyweight boxer 😭😭😭💔
Nicola Jan Smith (5 months ago)
I've watched a few of your videos now and they're fun, but is it possible for you to put the extra long conversations in two halves as they are unreadable? Appreciate it if you can.
mappy minho (5 months ago)
I’m lonely ☹️, n crave for true friends , hit like if u get this
Draco Malfoy (6 months ago)
2:30 sounds like a beginning to a fanfiction...
lldaydreemurrll (6 months ago)
My friend: dude danny Me: wha? My friend: I found dora Me: the fuck? Me.... U picked up a mexican girl didn't u? My friend: wait.... So dora ain't real? Me: no My friend: DORA U LIED TO ME
scrappy mom (6 months ago)
funny texts, stop the music, SLOW DOWN on the long ones
Semper Fidelis (6 months ago)
This is why I quit drinking 5 years ago.
Irene Skye (6 months ago)
'Nice ploice man'. Yupp. He's drunk
Johnny B. Goode (6 months ago)
The music in this video is stupid.
Yoongi Mi (6 months ago)
#2:37 am i the only one that didnt read the long ass paragraph
Ryan Hall (6 months ago)
Norman Reed (7 months ago)
Probably would have been interesting if it could have been read! Too fast, too loud, and some were too small. Waisted my time!
sia sia (7 months ago)
0:39 Nice Ploice Man 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Hextmer Gaming (7 months ago)
5:51 it says friend but yet it shows it like you sent it🧐🤔
Fooos (7 months ago)
Who the fuck chose the music? It’s shit.
Dark Wolf (7 months ago)
Change the music it's so stupid
Alexi Corrales (7 months ago)
0:35 "Nice Ploice Man." That's actually kinda adorable He was drunk but was like, 'this man, is _the_ man.' I love our Ploice Officers 💙💙💙
KatGames (7 months ago)
I lost it when he said he was 1% frosted flakes. I’m dying 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
libby millray (8 months ago)
you need to leave the pictures on for longer, i keep having to pause the video to read them
Colette Sieder (7 months ago)
1:25 made my day
Autumn Ricketts (8 months ago)
Nancy Mako (8 months ago)
A lot of these are too blurry to read!
Peggy S. (8 months ago)
Try changing the quality to 360, I think you have it on auto quality
Purple Flame Tarot (8 months ago)
Can't read half of them.
Katsuki Bakugou (9 months ago)
5:54, do they know what screenshot is?
nitewolf (9 months ago)
I don’t have a drunk story but I was so tired one day (to the point where I kept tripping everywhere) that I ran into a fence and just sat there laughing like a maniac, I’m 11... I need more sleep lol
Linda Duncan (4 months ago)
I'm 43 but I've sent sleep texts that would fit right in here 😂😂😂 Never done drunk texting, I don't often drink and not much when I do.
nitewolf (8 months ago)
I wake up at 6am.................
Amazing Technology (8 months ago)
Im 12 and this morning my eyes were barely opening at 6:00 AM! 😂😂
Serria X (9 months ago)
Cheyenne Mathews (9 months ago)
The reason I don't like alcohol it messes with your brain (actually destroys your brain)
CrazyCrashDome19 (9 months ago)
Mirela Pasca (9 months ago)
Loved the "nice ploice man" :)))
Rylie Leon (9 months ago)
0:38 nice PLOICE man
Danica The Shipper (9 months ago)
What a nice Ploice man!
Kathy Covington (9 months ago)
Would be nice to be able to read this, but it's just too blurry...
Le Jacque (9 months ago)
Change the quality
Fire Storm (9 months ago)
Omg 1:21 lolol! Hagrid!!! Ur real!!!! Lol I'm never gonna get over that!
Anonymous Libertarian (5 months ago)
Lol know we know what all the Harry Potter readers think as grown-ups! Lol!
Mackenzie Johnstone (9 months ago)
1:20 Humans are so precious
TheBlackSheCat (10 months ago)
I nearly peed myself laughing at this stuff! ROTFLMFAO
RD K JR (10 months ago)
London Bridges? Come on now..
ultra_kitty_tuber_ 101 (8 months ago)
RD K JR okay its London bridge not bridges
Ceylaan Blue (10 months ago)
Still trying to figure out the last two. Maybe I need to be drunk for them to be funny
Abby Gal (6 months ago)
Ceylaan Blue the second to last was this dude claiming to go to the fbi And the last one is this dude asking a A.I. generated text message for free cheese thinking it’s his girlfriend or wife
I'm Literally Gay Trash (10 months ago)
" I'll tell you what I didn't do! *I* didn't pour goldfish over the night club's dark floor, screaming, " Be free little fishies!!" "
Leelz247 (10 months ago)
How can people that drunk still text coherently?
G H (10 months ago)
I do. I'm surprising good at texting drunk; even get the spelling, grammar, and punctuation correct. Mate of mine though... utterly incomprehensible.
Johnston Steiner (10 months ago)
in 2018 many people still using iphone3g it seems,, shyeah right
Allison Holly (9 months ago)
Johnston Steiner yeah because no one ever digs up old screenshots. There was life before 2018 you know. There was 2017, 2016, 2015, and we can even dig up screenshots from back in 2010.
Sillybob 27 (10 months ago)
1:01 is the best one lol
optimum genesis (10 months ago)
omg 3:28 was by far the best one lmfao, dudes. lmfao
Asheville Trainman (10 months ago)
1:00 that’s some nice service. Less than 20 minutes after he sent the text he got home
Kunjan Patel (10 months ago)
every drunk texts starts with - "dude u were so drunk last night" with following "no i wasnt"
Inactive User (10 months ago)
To be honest, once my friend’s dad got drunk and the day before my friend had been telling him about Harry Potter. When he was drunk, he saw this old man with long, black hair. He called him an idiot for hating Harry and a terrible Prince.
gayathrihema (10 months ago)
Nice ploice man😂😂😂
Frank Jennings (10 months ago)
Tell me a funny drunk joke. A drunk driver killed my daughter.
I'm sorry🙁
Seymour Butts (9 months ago)
A guy walks into a bar, says "I've got something really bad. Gimme twelve shots. "So the bartender pours them out, and the guy slams em. The bartender says. "Wow, it must be really bad. What have you got? Cancer?" "I've got twelve cents."
anjairis (10 months ago)
5:16 this noise... that is being hammered on a piano... is at this point ... sooooOOOOO FUCKING ANNOYING HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHITFUCK OF ASSHATTERY AND CUNTING I HATE THIS NOISE STAAAAAAAAAAHP!!!!!!!!!! ... geezeus fucking balls why do you torment me so -.-
Bell Iron Fist (10 months ago)
Who is Nice Ploice Man? Lol
TheMagicRayquaza (10 months ago)
r/thathappened @ all of these
Blanche Konieczka (10 months ago)
Some are too small and too fast
Encoding47 (10 months ago)
Encoding47 (10 months ago)
0:39 I'm kind of offended. I'm Irish :/
Emma (5 months ago)
Lad it’s ok you have my share of attention
Encoding47 (5 months ago)
@Emma I am an attention-seeking shite, take no notice
Emma (5 months ago)
Lad lol it’s a joke
Encoding47 (8 months ago)
@Shanty Irish `You assured us several times that you weren't a terrorist and requested we don't send you back to Ireland`
Shanty Irish (8 months ago)
Goat... What did I miss ? Something derogatory about how we Irish are drunks ? Too late for offense... we are legend. Ack ! I just realized I'm sober...gotta go !
Socan (10 months ago)
I instantly click your videos lol
Biscuits Mitchell (10 months ago)
...3:03..."...that means, rn I'm made of 1% Frosted Flakes.....".....🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Steven Belsky (10 months ago)
2:43 is NOT __ COMPLETELY __ STUPID. 1 second he sees the OUTLINE of the phone, the next he ONLY sees text on screen.
ilike turtles (11 months ago)
Unsubing annoyed with the too small to read text... I thought you guys were professionals half these are not big enough to read on full screen so I'm just over this channel and clicking then lo and behold can't read anything so off my home page please
Weird Kid (8 months ago)
Hehdhchrydhd Duunhdjrjdjdj Technically, you started it by being a jerk. And I'm not going to kill myself just because some troll tells me to. I would have to be pretty unstable to do that. Also, I am currently speaking English, so I don't need to learn it... Your argument is invalid. Also, I think I can report you for hateful speech... And I'm very tempted to do so.
Weird Kid (8 months ago)
Hehdhchrydhd Duunhdjrjdjdj Well, that was rude. I've done many things in my life, actually. I've gotten an education for one thing, and I know how to punctuate. Example, "You've" instead of "uve". Also, think about it. Your response shows you're clearly some edgy kid who probably doesn't get enough love or attention from their parents. Telling someone to kill themselves online, just because they have a valid point? Come on, that's just sad. And judging by the week it took for you to respond, that's evidently all you could come up with. This entire argument doesn't even have anything to do with the original comment. How about we just stop here, and you go try to be a decent person? It works wonders, you know.
Weird Kid (8 months ago)
Hehdhchrydhd Duunhdjrjdjdj Calling me names only makes you look dumber, person with spam for a name. **calmly sips their tea** What is your issue, anyway? You've done nothing constructive here. All you've done is insult people. Is this really what you want to do with your life? With the time you've spent insulting people, you could have spent that time learning, maybe even discovering the next big scientific thing! Why do you waste your time here? Why do you insult people? Think of what you could be, with just a bit of effort and decency!
Weird Kid (8 months ago)
Rosie Fay Not everyone can just go and buy a bigger device... These things cost money you know.
Rosie Fay (8 months ago)
All the text is perfectly clear. Try using a bigger screen.
Levi Johnston (11 months ago)
drunk jess is too much like sober me
Ben Abad (11 months ago)
If you own a wii and the game Just Dance 2016, try this challenge when drunk: Do the song "Spectronizer." Have fun. I didn't try this myself, but I'm sure this would be fun. And It is not my fault if you break anything.
Random Otaku XD (6 months ago)
Hi I’m Just A Random Person it should work , it works on my Xbox 360 so if you have the 1 it should work on there too
Papriika (6 months ago)
Does it count with Xbox one or just wii? Honestly I don’t know why I’m asking I’m underage but still
Hextmer Gaming (7 months ago)
I have a wii and the game but am not old enough to drink😢😢
Random Otaku XD (7 months ago)
Ben Abad challenge excepted https://youtu.be/nFSQhNRHO-8
Allison Greenlee (11 months ago)
The shark one was actually really clever.
Jmanplays (11 months ago)
The police one is fake they would probably spell police right
Encoding47 (10 months ago)
lmao no, that was the drunk man putting in a contact name.
el7dian (11 months ago)
that was hilarious!!!! thanks for uploading!
laughingcat66 (11 months ago)
Music is so bad! Had to mute it so I could watch the video...
Majestic BIRD (7 months ago)
Fine than manual breathing activated.
Mightymind The NightWing (8 months ago)
Why is having to mute it is a bad thing?
Dickles (11 months ago)
They should switch over to text-to-speech, it’s a lot more appealing
Meggy mushroom_art (11 months ago)
laughingcat66 same
Lauren Swan (11 months ago)
4:19 does anyone else see Percabeth, with Percy as the drunk one?
Grass Seeker (6 months ago)
StarflightB4 (7 months ago)
Black Templar (9 months ago)
sad yeehaw (9 months ago)
GSD lover (11 months ago)
KVA 79 (11 months ago)
This music is terrible
Zac Mac (11 months ago)
Simply couldn’t watch the video even one minute because of the dumb ass music please if you want me and many others to watch your content, get some not annoying music
J is Scoobysmom (11 months ago)
At 3:46... I'm literally crying I'm laughing so hard, I can't catch my breath, that's freaking awesome!!! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Jaevwyn (11 months ago)
Gacha Han (11 months ago)
Hello! 😃
Kyoya Renji (11 months ago)
Thumbnail 0:39
Limited Edition (11 months ago)
Its mah b-day
Limited Edition (9 months ago)
@Black Templar lol
Black Templar (9 months ago)
Congrats you lost another year of your life!!!!
Limited Edition (11 months ago)
Erica Eblin thx u
Erica Eblin (11 months ago)
Happy birthday 😁👍
Limited Edition (11 months ago)
Dulce celeste Palacios garcia thx u
Safron (11 months ago)
1:05 Lol
jasons (11 months ago)
Encoding47 (8 months ago)
@Hehdhchrydhd Duunhdjrjdjdj That was uncalled for.
Tilted Defaults (11 months ago)
First no one cares lol
Encoding47 (8 months ago)
Could you please make the community aware of the subject you are referring to? Thank you in advance.
Thijs Vr (11 months ago)
Noober Playz i do

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